Aubrey Date: Supergirl

I spend at least ten minutes wandering back and forth at the candy bar at Event Cinemas Marion. I don’t usually buy my movie snacks at the cinema, but my session is starting in a few minutes and I don’t have time to run to Big W at a speed that would be socially acceptable in a mall. Instead, I have spent this time standing and looking at my options.

I refuse to spend more than $6 on a bag of M&M’s. There’s no way I’m buying a small popcorn that’s more expensive than my discounted ticket. I’m low on cash at the moment, but I wouldn’t be caught dead watching a movie without something in my mouth.

The Minions combo, consisting of a small popcorn and a collectable cup, whispers to me like the Green Goblin mask in the first Spider-Man film. With my Event membership discount, it comes down to $22.50. Ridiculous, but at least I’d be going home with something extra in the form of a red cup with a smirking yellow creature on it.

You know what? I deserve this. It’s been about eight months since I’ve taken myself to the movies alone - an Aubrey date.

I justify the cost by pretending my ticket was full price, and that my snacks are actually only $12. Now I’ve bought a movie ticket, a small popcorn, and I’ve gotten a gorgeous Minions cup for free. Thanks, brain.

The movie I’m actually here to see, Supergirl, is my most anticipated movie of the year, and one I’ve been looking forward to for a handful of years. Supergirl is my second-favourite superhero ever (behind Superman). This is why I’ve come out on a Thursday morning to the first possible screening - I couldn’t wait any longer.

I am more disappointed by Supergirl than any cinema release in recent memory.

It’s not terrible, but what should have been a slam-dunk — an adaptation of one of the most beloved comics of the 21st century — is instead a dull echo of far more exciting things.

Woman of Tomorrow, written by Tom King and delicately illustrated by Bilquis Evely, is one of my favourite comics I’ve read, and a definitive Supergirl story. It makes sense why they would turn to this story when trying to bring the character back to the big screen for the first time since 1984.

I am disappointed by the colour. Not just because I was hoping to see something akin to Matheus Lopes’ gorgeous colouring from Woman of Tomorrow, but because it looks like every other bland comic book movie from the past decade that drains saturation from the image in an attempt to convey grittiness. Somehow, it actually looks worse.

Apart from being the ugliest-looking movie I’ve seen in quite a while, Supergirl makes every effort to take elements from the source material and dull them down in the most boring way possible. The giant blue space dragon from the comic has been substituted by ‘tech pirates’, Comet the Superhorse has been replaced by Jason Momoa, and the vicious dinosaurs that live on a deadly planet with a green sun have been scrapped in favour of… absolutely nothing.

It feels like the creators have taken the comic, given it a skim, and then thrown it in the bin.

Without the comic in mind, the movie is fine. Milly Alcock is an excellent Supergirl and her performance is a bright spot in the film. It reminds me of something that would have come out in the early days of the MCU when they were still finding their footing, and for that it’s passable.

Even trying to separate the film from the comic (which is impossible with how much the film directly takes influence from it), the action is uninteresting and the pacing suffers due to how little it has going on. Usually going to see a new superhero movie on opening day with a crowd is electric, but it felt like there must have been a power outage in my cinema.

If you’ve read Woman of Tomorrow, stay far away from Supergirl. If you haven’t, you might get a kick out of it, but I wouldn’t recommend rushing to see it in cinemas. In fact, take that money for a ticket and buy a compact edition of the comic, I hope I’ve made it clear how wonderful it is.

Supergirl remains one of my all-time favourite heroes, of course. The most disappointing part of being a Supergirl fan and sitting in this cinema was thinking to myself, Man, they probably won’t make another one of these until I’m fifty.

At the very least I do not go home empty-handed. I have a Minions cup.